Thursday, March 25, 2010


So, I started a new program last week called RevAbs. It is capoeira based and it sucks and rocks all at once. lol. I liked the capoeira aspects of Turbo Jam so I thought this might be a good workout for me. It is interesting. First of all, my TSH is at the highest level it has ever been in my life (5.07) but for once I have a doctor who is not interested in treating it. My naturopath is trying something new with me and we hope it will work because if it doesn't, drugs are the only option left. If it comes to that, then I will deal, but in the meantime, we have to try. Anyway, having a sluggish thyroid sure makes it a challenge to get all the way through a 45 minute workout, but it also makes me all the prouder each time I do it. Basically, I am functioning on guts and determination at this point because the alternative is to keep getting sicker and weaker and I can't do that. Someone has to be here to care for my kids as they get older. I have about 60 pounds to lose. Heaven help me.

Dreams and things

I had a crazy dream this morning. I stood up in my church congregation and told them how much they SUCK. I have been hurt by this congregation for years now and yet I keep going back because I don't know where else to go. Many people know that I battle depression and yet, even though I have not attended since January, not one person has called. Several of them are my friends on Facebook and yet, even when I posted that my daughter and I were in a car accident and that my daughter is in lots of pain, not one called to see if we needed anything. Strangely enough, my father was also in my dream. Dad passed away four years ago May 25. He also never attended this church, but seemed in the dream to be there as a guest. The thing is; these are not cruel people or people with bad intentions, they are simply thoughtless and what hurts most is that I have spelled out what I want from a church and they still can't give it to me. I just want a family. My church is made up of several families and they are the "popular" ones. I have been at music practices where a dinner everyone else present would be attending. I was the only one not invited. So, between my church and my "support" board, I am really feeling that people suck. I guess the answer is to find a new group of people. In fact, I am thinking of trying a new church not too far from my home. I feel very strongly that I need to be taking the kids to church and that I need the support of people of my faith. I hope it is finally home for us.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Coffee, car accidents and other random things.

Let's talk about coffee. Mmmm. I am working with a naturopath on a host of health problems. Recently, we were battling good old candida and I showed up as sensitive to coffee. For the better part of two months I had almost NO coffee. Now, I don't love the idea of being addicted to anything, but I also love my morning cuppa all by myself before the whole family gets up. So, while I was able to still enjoy morning tea, I am feeling more like myself with my coffee again. I can't drink much because I find it makes me jittery now, but that first cup in the morning is magic. :)

I am keeping my fifteen year old daughter home today. We were in a car accident on March 12. I live on the "wet" coast of Canada and we got hung up on some slush and lost control on the highway. Let's just say it could have been many, many times worse, particularly since there was a semi behind me in the other lane. I am doing remarkably well, but my daughter is suffering quite a bit with back and neck pain. We have appointments; hers to do with the recent accident and mine to do with long standing pain from a drunk hitting the two of us when she was just a little more than a year old. I hope we have hit our quota for MVAs. Seriously.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Gluten free frustration

I was talking today on a support board for low carbers about how difficult it is to be assertive and wondering why it is such a challenge for me. Many things came up that really only confirmed to me why it is difficult; that asking what is being served at someone's house is being "high maintenance", that such a request could lead to not being invited back. The one that wounded me most was made by a friend who is a nurse. It was, basically, that Celiac Disease is nothing like Diabetes in that it is "only" some "gas and diarrhea". Seriously? A NURSE said that? Now, I am new to the whole Celiac thing, so I am just getting used to how people perceive us. Frankly, I find it discouraging. First of all, I have a disease. This disease caused my thyroid to stop functioning, my joints to swell and a host of other things. If she doesn't thing Celiac Disease is serious enough, would thyroid cancer do it? Because I am now, thanks to having Hashimoto's Disease, at higher risk for thyroid cancer. Oooh, what about cancer in the bowels, because unmanaged Celiac Disease puts us at higher risk for that too. I guess the possibility of Cardiomyopathy and a host of other inflammation related issues are just not that serious. This conversation lead me to finally start a blog. I hope that I will find a support board out there for people with Celiac disease. One where I am not allowed to make excuses or feel sorry for myself, but where I also am allowed to be honest about the difficulties I face on a daily basis with autoimmune issues. Is that too much to hope for?