Thursday, March 25, 2010
Dreams and things
I had a crazy dream this morning. I stood up in my church congregation and told them how much they SUCK. I have been hurt by this congregation for years now and yet I keep going back because I don't know where else to go. Many people know that I battle depression and yet, even though I have not attended since January, not one person has called. Several of them are my friends on Facebook and yet, even when I posted that my daughter and I were in a car accident and that my daughter is in lots of pain, not one called to see if we needed anything. Strangely enough, my father was also in my dream. Dad passed away four years ago May 25. He also never attended this church, but seemed in the dream to be there as a guest. The thing is; these are not cruel people or people with bad intentions, they are simply thoughtless and what hurts most is that I have spelled out what I want from a church and they still can't give it to me. I just want a family. My church is made up of several families and they are the "popular" ones. I have been at music practices where a dinner everyone else present would be attending. I was the only one not invited. So, between my church and my "support" board, I am really feeling that people suck. I guess the answer is to find a new group of people. In fact, I am thinking of trying a new church not too far from my home. I feel very strongly that I need to be taking the kids to church and that I need the support of people of my faith. I hope it is finally home for us.